Let there be Light

Although the light isn’t turned on here, (because the picture quality wasn’t that great) let me tell you there is plenty of light from our new chandelier I wired and hung yesterday. It was a booger at times… it was, afterall, my first electrical installation by myself. Our den remodeling project has a few new electrical additions, all of which my father-in-law John helped me with. And let me tell you, it’s been so fun! I haven’t posted den update pics on purpose. I want to do a before-and-after post when it’s all completed! I barely want to look at the complete mess in there right now, so I surely don’t want to torture any eyes while it’s still a “work in progress.”

While all this goes on, I’m still trying to find time for my other projects… which are not so much home remodeling, but self remodeling. Finding time to be alone, to squeeze out the noise, to read, to expand my mind and open my heart, and to practice my trumpet and mandolin, are all so difficult because of what I will call ‘back-log’ time. Instead of beginning on a completely fresh note every day, I begin on backed up sleep and the previous day’s endings. In other words, the previous day carries on to the next, every single day. I wake up groggy about 3am, hit peek-alertness around 7. It lasts until 9 or 10am. By noon I’m already winding back down. When I get home, it’s usually nap time and I sleep entirely too long, until 6 on average. Then I get up, eat dinner, and play until late….. again and again and again. The cycle is hard to break. I hope that I can revise my schedule so that I will be in bed by 8 — so far haven’t made that deadline yet. But why focus on the past and the negative?

I really want to go to the library and sit and read. I was there last week for a story assignment, and I just noticed how wonderful silence actually is. What a way to take away the noise in my head.

So far this morning, the scanners have been putting all that noise back in. My head is like a box… sooner or later, there won’t be enough room to put anything at all in. It’s Tuesday, and that means garbage day on our street. Do you think they could make a stop here at work to empty my head?

Home Improvement Heaven

Do you ever just walk into Lowe’s and take a deeep breath and think… this is what Heaven must be like? I l-o-v-e this store. I could spend hours. It’s like a theme park. You have your attractions: Flooring, paint, lumber, lights/lamps. You have your rides: the lawnmower section. And everyone is so friendly. I have heard time after time an employee explaning something to a clueless customer, like I am much of the time. But hey, it’s learning for free! I got some more deep mocha paint yesterday because Hailey stepped in the pint I stupidly left open and spilled it all over the floor. I also picked up a screw that fell off the lawnmower handle the first time I mowed a few weeks ago. My grandmother gave me a pushmower that works really well, but to get it home we had to take the handle off. I forgot to tigthen up the bolt when we got home, so of course it fell off in the yard. And I got some more paint brushes for Sarah to paint while I made the yard nice and pretty.

Revolution

I am 27. I can’t tell you how much I’ve been put into a reality check in the past year, and I really started to only notice and think about this not too long ago. I am at the age where people marry, start families, and work on building a career. See, I’ve been in that last category for about five years now… working on my career. But as I’ve gotten older, it’s become more obvious to me that guys I see at the store or wherever are married — just like me! It’s so weird, because when you’re a young guy, you look at the world with this single-minded view. You are single, or are dating, someone. Your friends are single, or just dating someone. And most of your peers are in the same boat. I guess it just blows my mind that I am now in a different category. The world is spinning, the sun is rising and setting, and times, they are a changing. I am shocked and amazed that I am old enough to be married, old enough to have friends who are married, and old enough for people to have children and families. (I realize biologically, people have have children when they are teenagers, but I’m referring to people who are responsible enough to wait to finish college/school, get married, and have careers). Why does this topic shock me so much? I guess I just can’t believe how much time has passed, and now as an adult I really see things a lot differently. It’s weird — but you have the child mindset for so long, and breaking out of it’s hard because people always say, “You’re so young, you just don’t understand.” Actually, sometimes I still get that! But now sometimes I just think older people like to put down younger people for not knowing about the depression or the “old fashioned life” but for why? Like it’s my fault I wasn’t born with the dinosaurs? Sorry, a little passive-aggressive much?

And it’s the start of my three day weekend! I get a day off for having worked Memorial Day. But I got the yard mowed, the house all clean… now it’s time to relax and celebrate a milestone in my life: my one year wedding anniversary with my dear wife. It’s Sunday.