Bad Boy/Boring Boy

As I made my way through town today on assignment, I got the chance to listen to Kidd Kraddick’s morning show.  That doesn’t happen often.  And it was HILARIOUS.  After ripping on (I don’t know her name) for not knowing Bob Dylan songs, even though she proclaimed to be a huge Bob Dylan fan, they began talking about the kinds of guys girls date: the bad boys, or the boring ones.  Apparently, that’s how we guys are divided. 

The women on the show and those who called in said it’s always exciting daying the bad boys… the “exciting” ones as they put it.  These are the guys who can’t be tamed, the ones who don’t settle down.  Then there are the boring guys… the guys that the girls go for after they’ve experienced the wild side — the bad boy. 

One exception was this one guy on the show who was neither a bad boy nor a boring boy.  So there is an in-between they concluded.  That’s when I started thinking about which category I’m in.  And I think I’m the boring boy who’s always thought he was a bad boy.  But alas…. I am not.  I have too many qualities that don’t explore the wild side.

1) I like stability.

2) I like a balanced check book.

3) I can’t stand a messy house.

Yup.  Tell me how many bad boys like those things!  Ha.  Well, bad boy or boring, I like who I am, and that’s all that matters.

Dissection of a Relationship

Friend: A person to which you can joke around with, hang out with, watch football.  Still, there’s that level of separation.

True Friend: Layers of comfortable support; compatability; love; similiar beliefs and beyond; accepting.

Spouse: All the levels of friend and true friend… a person that definitely goes above and beyond every level of relationship there is.  Your best friend, love of your life.

Family Member: Boy, there’s just all sorts of descriptions here.  This relationship has many of some categories, none of others.  Family members are your chosen relationships, and are different from every other relationship on earth.  You can choose your other relationships. 

I wonder about relationships a lot.  When I think of them, I think of the people in my life — like my wife, my friends, my true friends, my family.  In many cases, those true friends are of course the people I’ve chosen to be the closest.  Yet, in many of those instances still, we are not close by one another.  What makes that relationship work?

I suppose persistence has a lot to do with it!  Afterall, if you weren’t committed to these so-called true friends, how did they ever get to that point in the first place?

I can think of one true friend who just moved away from the immediate area surrounding my wife and I.  Since this is so new, persistence will have to get us through…since this friend is on the road a lot.  Upholding our promises to visit quite a bit and maintaining that closeness will have to be our guide.

Another true friend is a man I’ve known for nearly six years now.  He hasn’t lived close to me for about 5 and a half of those years!  Wow.  How could a person whom I now hold as a true friend ever maintained and even moved up in status over those years, especially since he hasn’t been near me for nearly all that time?  I guess it’s commitment.  And as you know from early blogs, commitment is one of my new, refreshed resolutions for this year.

 I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 other “true friends” that are all doing their own thing right now.  You know, in my perfect world, we’d all be together again.  And I believe that is going to happen one of these days.

Think about your friends, your family, and your spouse (if you have one).  Think about those relationships and dissect them.  What sustains you?  What keeps your relationships fresh, new, exciting, and relevant?  Or is it that there’s nothing new about them… they’re old, comfortable, tried and tested?  There’s nothing wrong with that one either.  The bottom line is that relationships take work.

In this dissection of relationships, I also have another element for you to ponder: the relationship you have with yourself.  And one thing comes to mind — the closing quotation of the Sex and the City series.  The narrarator, Carrie, says:

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships.  Thre are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back.  But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.  And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

Moving On

This weekend, Janette moved out.  It’s weird — because at any other crossroads in which something major changes, my emotions would be bouncing off the wall like a rubber ball.  I would indeed consider this a major change, but I haven’t experienced those ‘life-changing’ and emotion-yanking feelings this time.  I think it’s because this process has been such a subtle transition.  We found out about her departure several weeks ago, so we’ve had some time to adjust to the thought.  Then we helped her move all of her things.  The thing is, she does travel a lot, so her coming home wasn’t that frequent.  But when she did, I guess I hardly saw her because I’d have to get to bed fairly early during the week and then I’d leave really early in the morning.  Anyway, point is… she’s not that far away and we’ll get to see her on weekends and stuff.

Another moving on reference I’d like to make here is that I slightly felt the “moving on” syndrome very briefly this weekend.  I could sense a moving on in our lives… a change… a life altering thing about to be upon us.  Draw your own conclusions (as I have) but it’s here and the thought is as exciting as it is scary.

 Janette, just remember, we’re right down the road.  For all you friend types out there, same goes for you.