In the New Year

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Jolly Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year!  2008 hasn’t even started yet, and already I feel overwhelmed!

That’s mostly because of various activities that we are already committed to.  Oh boy.  Let’s see, we have NYC and Montana… and Michael has nearly talked me into a trip to London.  Plus I’d like to get up to Kansas City this year at least twice.  All of this is adding up to a lot of money… very quickly!

I guess right now I’m stuck between the realistic money crunch and the philosophical debate about money not mattering… life is about living and experiences.  What’s the balance?  If I were listening to the Dave Ramsey over my right shoulder, I’d say that I should do the minimum until all the debt we have is paid.  But on my other shoulder is Spendy McSpenderson who says F it… I should go, do, live, be!  I would have liked the credit card to be paid of THIS YEAR!  It’s been following us around since we got married.  We collected the majority of our debt baggage for various expenses related to that.  I’m just tired of it being a part of the monthly payments.  This is how banks stay in business!

In the new year… I have made several new wishes for myself and my life. 

In the new year… I will be committed.  If I say I’m going to do something, and then when the time comes to do it… and I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore… well, I’m just going to do it because I said I would.  Afterall, if it’s a volunteer effort or something like that, it won’t take that long and I’ll feel better for it!  I am a new BIG with BBBS, and I am committed to that relationship.  Of course, I am forever committed to my lovely wife!

In the new year… I will be more direct.  I want to tell people what I’m thinking!  Instead of holding it in like I always do… and end up exploding later… I just want to say what’s on my mind.  I’ve never been able to do that with people. 

In the new year… I will be better at keeping up with friends.  We are going to visit Todd and Rachel… we’re going to see Sarah’s family… I am going to visit Michael and not just be a phone friend for life.  I’ll say, though, that I keep up with friends just fine now.  I just don’t get the chance to SEE them a whole lot.  This is where I will improve.

In the new year… I am going to concentrate on paying down debt!!!  I am going to shake it if it kills me!!!

So there are a few things I wish to work on… to improve in… to make my life more focused and balanced.  It’s only the 27th now… I guess I have a few days until all of it kicks in.  For the time being… I’ll just continue to think about how I’m going to make it all happen

Sunday in the Den

Office Space is on the tube, my glass of beer has just been finished, and my stomach is nice and happy from the leftover Chinese food from lunch yesterday.

The girls are out shopping and I’m spending a little quiet time at home.  I think after this weekend, I needed some time alone… and so did the girls.  We went to Frisco yesterday and joined the thousands of others at the mall.  We also went to Ikea, which actually wasn’t that bad.  Why is Christmas time such a hectic period of screaming, yelling, getting in and out of stores… I guess everyone’s feelings and sensitivity are heightened because you’re spending money for presents, that fund is quickly running out, and sometimes you think… WHAT IN THE WORLD do I get this person? 

It’s at times like these — the hectic and insane– that I’m so glad we decided to redesign this converted garage/craft room from its previous state to a cozy den/family room.  It’s a nice place to relax, get away from the rest of the house, and escape from everyone else.  We’ve got the computer in here, a TV, iTunes of course… some pretty comfortable furniture.  Life is good in here.

I have work to do, but just like all of last week, I don’t want to do it.  I’d rather make some more home brew beer.  I’m finally out of the stock pile I had lagering on top of the pantry.  All of that beer — mainly Christmas/Holiday brews — are now in the fridge.  The problem is, I only have three more recipes with supplies in the pantry.  I guess after the first of the year, I’ll try to get some more supplies to make some more beer.

Later today, I have one more errand to run as far as Christmas presents go.  I have to take something back and exchange it because I realized what I got didn’t quite have what I was looking for.  Other than that, it’s been pretty nice just being lazy here in the den.  I think a nap might even be in order.

When You Just Don’t Know What to Get Her

 THREE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS YOUR WIFE WILL NOT RETURN 

by David Sisler

Working in retail can be a frustrating occupation at this time of the year, but it is the way I have chosen to earn my share of the Sisler family’s income for 13 of the last 14 Christmas seasons. One thing that continually puzzles me, however, is the wife who greets her husband’s “perfect gift” with the comment, “It doesn’t go with anything else I have,” or “It just isn’t me.”

As a husband, I will make an astonishing admission (for myself and every man who will allow me the liberty). Men are usually lousy shoppers and we frequently have lousy taste. I know most of the time the “bring-it- backers” swap their husband’s gift for something else, meaning we still “make the sale.” But as long as I sell to men, I will always remember one particular husband who, accompanied by his wife, returned the item he had purchased with enormous pride, not too many days earlier. He was so disappointed because she did not like it, that I immediately authorized a return. I made no attempt to show them anything else.

I thought, “Lady, would it have hurt you to have worn it once or twice and then lost it in the back of your sock drawer?” Evidently, her fashion sense was more important than her husband’s ego.

So, for that husband, and husbands everywhere, I offer the following shopping list. It contains only three items, but I guarantee she will keep each of them.

This year for Christmas, give your wife your affection, and keep it up for the rest of your lives. For the guys who say, “I am just not the affectionate type,” you may be telling the truth, but showing affection can be learned.

You can show affection with your words. Give her a steady diet of compliments. You say you are not good with words? Dust off your Bible. Turn to the Old Testament, the Song of Solomon, and read chapter four. If you don’t get a few ideas there about how to compliment your wife, you may indeed be hopeless in this department.

You can show affection by your actions. Plan some things that show her you are thinking of her even when you are not with her. Slip a handwritten note into her purse. Interrupt her day with an affectionate phone call. She may be so overcome with joy and shock, that you’ll have to send for the paramedics, but it will be worth the risk.

Gift number two: give your wife your honesty and openness. A good place to start is by determining that when you talk to her, it will be something more than, “Honey, get up and get me another drink.” Your wife needs to hear the words which come from your inside, secret places. She should know you better than she knows anyone else in the world. An old proverb says, “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” Honesty produces closeness in any relationship, especially marriage. Solomon said, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” So do wives.

My third suggestion for your Christmas list is that you give your wife your total commitment. You had a score of friends and buddies before you met her, but you did not marry them. Your wife is, or should be, the most important person in your life. If you spend more time with your old pals than you do with her, you are hanging out with the wrong crowd.

You know that little cutie at work who thinks you are just so clever, so manly? You remember. She is the one who is always perky because she does not have a husband who pays more attention to other people than he does to her. She is the one who does not have a herd of kids clamoring around her ankles, demanding her constant attention. While both women are fresh in your mind, check in on another of the Bible’s proverbs: “A man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.”

The dictionary’s definition of despair, anger, and hurt, will never equal the look in your wife’s eyes if she learns that you did not mean it when you promised her, and God, you would forsake all others and keep only unto her. If you ever cross that line, receiving your wife’s forgiveness will be one hundred times easier than forgiving yourself.

I have one other gift suggestion. You cannot buy it. You cannot give it. You can only receive it. And you do not have to wait until Christmas morning. This gift is from God, the gift of eternal salvation through his only Son, Jesus.

Published in the Augusta Chronicle 11/28/98

Copyright 1998 by David Sisler. All Rights Reserved.