This Message Brought to you by the Number 27

I remember totally being excited about turning 27.  It was going to be the best year ever!  I think that whenever someone says that, it curses it.  I don’t think I will say it again.  I don’t feel cursed, necessarily, but things have just not gone the way I would have planned.  If I were running the show, life in all areas would be peachy keen.  Instead, the peaches have over ripened and the soggy mush that turns bitter has left a bad taste in my mouth.  Times like that you’d just rather throw it all in the trash, huh?

I can’t do that, of course.  Last night I had an episode.  I was listening to Jamie Cullum and it just brought back a rush of memories.  I dwell in the past.  It just made me reflect on what I did give up to come here.  But I did gain a lot also.  The unfortunate thing is that what I gave up pales in comparison to what I’ve gained.  Yet, I remain in this foggy cloud of depression.  I’ve gained so many great new things, but those things are outweighed in an emotional sense by this negative stuff.  But the gains mean so much more to me!  How does this even make sense?

F*** YOU NUMBER 27!!!

Blame it on my Youth

This is the song I love so much.  Jamie covered it.  I believe it was Nat King Cole who originally sang it.  I think the words are very ironic now, given my situation. 

If, I expected love, when first we kissed, blame it on my youth
If only just for you, I did exist, blame it on my youth
I believed in everything
Like a child of three
You meant more than anything
You meant all the world to me

Now I don’t mean that the lyrics are ironic in a similiar way that he’s singing about love… I just think that years from now I will laugh at whatever it is I’m going through.  If — (whatever) — blame it on my youth.  What is 27 anyway, except an age of adulthood where one is still exploring, trying to find his grounding, and trying to make a place among the world.  It seems like such an old age to me right now.  Plenty of people say there is so much more life to be lived yet.  True — to them.  But to me, I think, look at the 27 years of life I have lived!  So let’s see if I can be poetic.

If, I expected no problems…. in any job… Blame it on my youth.  If, I thought it would be easy… Blame it on my youth.  I believed in everything, like a young guy would.  My job meant more to me than anything.  Blame it on my youth.

Man with a Plan

It seems so far away, but if I can make it five years at a possible new opportunity in my newly adopted town – part time — and if things go well (meaning I like it) then I am going to pursue another degree that will take under two years to complete.  And this would be a different career alltogether.  It’s just nice to know that yes, I do have a plan.  Plans change, but I’m going to see where it takes me.  I just have to get to the first phase.  That’s today.

Routine & Romance

Larry Dority, owner of the Paris Vineyards in Paris, Texas, gave the best description of wine I’ve ever heard: Sometimes wine is routine; sometimes it’s a romance.  I said, “Just like a marriage.”  After the big chuckle from our little group, he agreed and said that if you never have the routine, it’s really hard to tell when you’re having the romance! 

This weekend, Sarah, Janette and I took Todd and Rachel to Paris to taste some wine and to look at the Eiffel Tower Texas style.

Yes, that’s a big red cowboy hat on top of the tower.  It’s rather small.  I was sort of expecting a bigger version… not like the real thing in France, of course, but you know… Texas always brags that everything’s bigger here.  It’s just ain’t this.

We cooked steaks on the grill Saturday night and it was a very nice time of relaxation in the backyard.  They left this morning, but it was very nice to reconnect over the short period they were here.

Determination

I’m all by myself tomorrow, but I’m very excited about it.  I’ll have the chance to prove myself even further.  I did work ahead last week, and so now I’m concentrating on the tasks at hand this week.  I have an exciting appointment on Tuesday with a young man who’s a mechanic and classically trained pianist.  Check Caleb Hogan’s website out.  I’m excited about the future.

Issues

You know, things that are happening in my life are important.  I think things that are happening in all our lives are important.  But I also think the issues are really important to.  Issues like the war or NASA’s dirty little secrets lately and the most recent launch of the space shuttle.  I would like this blog to be more issue-oriented.  Now that I’m contemplating this new adventure, expressing my concerns or thoughts in a bold way, everything just fell out of my head. 

I guess I just want to start making a more conscious path to talk about other important things.